FOURTEEN

Today marks 14 months we have been logged in to the CCAA. This also starts the beginning of us doing another paper chase to keep our immigration approval current. As of last week, I was completely set on just letting it all expire and starting over to file with USCIS in maybe 6 months or so. That is what seemed logical. We had a lengthy telephone conversation with our agency last week and it still seemed logical after that conversation that we should just let our I171H expire because at the rate of referrals, we will most likely have to do it all again anyway - so what's the point? Well, the point is, for us, if we let it expire it's almost like saying we are giving up and we are not. I have had some much needed support this past week and we decided we will re-do our paperwork, we will head out to Tampa to be re-fingerprinted and we will do what we need to do to keep on our path to our daughter.

Thank you for all of your support and encouraging words - they mean so much to me.

Here's to the last weekend of 07' - I'm ready for 2008, bring it on.

TRADITIONS

Every Christmas Eve when I was a child, our family would do luminarie. Someone in our neighborhood always coordinated the project and Christmas Eve afternoon a bag filled with sand, lunch bags and candles were delivered. I remember going in the garage with my Dad and making the bags. I loved doing this with him. Well, we started this tradition for our family last year. The only difference is we go to the beach for our sand- about a 5 minute ride. This year we are doing red and white bags. We just got back from the beach with our sand - The bags are filled and now we wait for nightfall. I love Christmas....

Thoughts...

Need to get what's in my head out....
~~~~~
12.23.07
Dear Miranda Rae,
As I sit here tonight on our lanai looking out at the beautiful night sky, I can't stop thinking of you. You - a person I have never met. A person who may not even be born. But yet, my mind can't clear the vision of you. I'm thinking about last Christmas time when thoughts and talk of you were so joyous. We talked about how next Christmas we would hopefully know who you were and be very close to bringing you home. We are not. Last Christmas all the gifts Dad and I exchanged were about you or China. This will not happen this year. I find that we are rarely using your name or talking directly about you - that makes me sad. Joseph uses your name all the time in conversation and Dad and I now feel a pain in our hearts when he does. Our talks this Christmas are about reality. With what is happening in China with adoption right now, may make it impossible for us to ever meet you. This is reality - hard to take but it is reality. We told Joseph this weekend that it is not a guarantee that he will have a little sister. The look on his face was saddness. I can't have him going on each day believing that he is without a doubt going to - that just wouldn't be fair. As much as I feel doubtful that this letter will ever be read by the daughter we are praying for - I still have this hope that one day a beautiful girl will read this and say "Mom, you were crazy, here I am." Oh, Miranda how I pray and pray that this will be read by you one day. We are not giving up - we won't. I'm just scared that if the wait continues to increase, so much can change and anything can happen. I hope that as we enter 2008, things will change and we will be able to see a light at the end of this dark road. Til then, our love continues to grow, even if we are now guarding our hearts.
Til we meet.... xoxo

Merry Christmas

Well, it's the end of the weekend and there are 2 days til Christmas. We've been busy here getting ready. Here' s my non-bullet list - why, oh why won't bullets work for me ?

~~~This little ELF came to live with us last week. We have named him Fred. Each night he leaves and appears in a new spot by morning. Christmas Eve will be his last night living with us til' next year. Joseph has certainly been on good behavior :) He is currently residing on a shelf in the playroom. Joseph thinks his last night he will spend near the pool.

~~ Why oh why did I decide I needed to go to Target 3 days before Christmas . Madness, pure madness. Target does have really cute shirts for Christmas and they are short sleaved. I bought a few - Cheers, Naughty, a christmas tree and a snowflake.

~~We truly are the Griswolds - we rode our bikes to a park to fly a remote control plane. First flight and it crashed into a Palm tree and was stuck. We rode back home, got the ladder and our boat pole. Joe saved the day and rescued the plane. I noticed many park dwellers moving their cars - I heard one man say, "I don't trust that plane isn't going to crash into my car". We didn't stay too long.

~~Pulled a muscle in my neck something fierce. Thank goodness I took Joe's advise to get a massage on Saturday. It still hurts but is much better.

~~I discovered that the couches in our playroom are sooo comfortable. I have never laid on them but with the neck issue, I forced myself to take a break and watch a movie with Joseph. I actually enjoyed High School Musical but can't get the darn songs out of my head.

~~Joseph has learned Carol of the Bells and Joy to the World in the last week and I never tire of hearing him play them on the piano or guitar.

~~The many gallons of Christmas Lemonade we made for school on Friday was a big hit. We even have some lemons left on our tree. The "crush" girl must have told J 20 times how good it was. It really was good and with the strawberries and raspberries thrown in, it was a nice shade of red.

~~LAST BUT NOT LEAST~~

Have yourself a merry little Christmas, Let your heart be light,

From now on, our troubles will be out of sight....

First Crush ****UPDATED****

Joseph found the above note on his desk today. It's folded in half because he shoved it in his book bag. The minute he got in my car, he exploded with the news that a certain someone left him a "love note". Okay, I heard from another mother the other day that a certain someone was "crushing" on J but for crying out loud - this is second grade. Does anyone think it has something to do with the fact that he brought his new red electric guitar to music class last week and played a song that he had written? My friend Nikki reminded me that I fell in love with a musician - but hey not this young!!!

Hope everyone is done Christmas shopping - I am!

FUTURE ROCK STAR

*****UPDATE - We have officially cleared the Review Room. For my family/friends -this is the last official step before our file goes into the matching room. So, for the past 18 days the review room workers at the CCAA (China Center of Adoption Affairs) have gone over the October LID files with a fine tooth comb. This is where the motto of "no news is good news" really is true. This means absolutely nothing in terms of the wait, but it is another step closer. The doubts that have been filling my mind the past month are still there - but I do feel a little more positive about it today. The next time a worker at the CCAA picks up our file it will be to match us with our daughter. Congratulations to all my fellow October LID pals.

December 14, 2000

7 years ago, my father died. Christmas was his absolute favorite holiday. This was the holiday we were always all together. He loved to wrap presents, he loved to decorate the tree and the house. He loved the big fish dinner my mom made on Christmas Eve. He loved Christmas songs and it was our tradition once Joe joined our family that Joe would play the piano and we would all sing Christmas songs (and some Allman Brothers if the mood struck). He loved his wife, his children, his grandchildren. He loved the simple things in life - he did not need much to be happy. This time of year is always bittersweet for me. Just before he died he told me, well wrote me a note, saying that he needed to get home so he can help my mother wrap the presents. Even facing death, he was still looking to enjoy Christmas. It was not to be that year. I know that he would want us to celebrate his life at this time instead of mourning him. That is what I will do. I will celebrate this wonderful man, my father, who I miss each and every day. The night he died, I wrote his eulogy ~~~~

EULOGY FOR SANTINO DIMELE
DECEMBER 18, 2000

My father was the strongest man I’ve ever known. Ironically the illness that came over him made him so very weak. Weak physically perhaps but he remained strong in every other way. His heart, his loyalty, his love, his respect -. all of these things were steadfast and strong. I believe that in the final days of his life the affliction was a cold, hard sojourn into his spirit. As the traveler through this ordeal he was stripped of all of his choices but one, which was how much of his soul he would surrender? When he first began his fight with this mysterious illness, he was consumed with fear. But through the grace of my mother and his family he was able to regain sense of himself. And as I read these words I believe my father would want everyone listening to know that he is at peace. I also know that he would want me to thank my mother for her strength and prayers and to my entire family for their love and support.

Finally, I want to thank my father on behalf of my siblings and I for being the man that he was. Not because he was our father but because I know it to be an absolute certainty, Santino DiMele was the finest person we have ever known. Though he is gone, I know his love will reside in all of our hearts to be passed on down through the generations.

“Love is the immutable force that exists beyond all of life’s dangers.”

Boat Parade - Christmas Tree 2007

Beautiful Ladybug ornament from Grandma

(the 2 angels I bought last Christmas)

This weekend was our annual Boat Parade and in true Griswold fashion our lights didn't work. Oh well. A good time was had anyway. We didn't actually enter this year but were just putting the lights for fun. The boats that enter are really done up nicely. The weather was perfect and it was just what I needed to start feeling the Christmas spirit. We also put up our tree. This is the first year ever that we have had an artificial tree and I was a bit hesitant at first, but wow it's beautiful, it was easy and there was no giant mess of pine needles everywhere. (I do miss the smell though) I stuck a balsam air freshener on it to help with that. Hope everyone enjoyed their weekend.

Pets and Woo hoo for the Weekend

Because I have nothing notable to blog about, especially on the adoption front I'm going to blog about our zoo. Many of you asked what Picachoo is so here is a run down of living creatures at our house:

Picachoo is a Bearded Dragon
He actually is a great pet and not nearly as scary as he looks. He was only about 2 inches when we got him and we had no idea he would get this big. Picachoo eats organic spinach, lots of veggies and fruit and also live crickets. That part was a little freaky for me at first and I would have no part of it, but now I don't mind the crickets. The only time they become a problem is if someone forgets to put the top of the cricket cage on tight and you pick up the cage and your have 6 dozen crickets running around your house. Not a pretty site - this has happened 2x. Picachoo loves to sit on my shoulder and be out and about with me in the house. He lives in a 20 gallon tank in Joseph's room but also has an outside mesh cage that he loves. Bearded dragons love the sun and warm weather so we try to put him outside as much as possible during the day. They are up from sunset to sundown. When they are asleep, they do look dead. Just ask Joe.

Jango is a cross between a
Leucistic Gecko and a Leopard Gecko
This type of lizard is very different. They sleep all day and are up at night. He does not like to be held and acutally sounds like a kazoo when you pick him up. He eats crickets and worms. He also lives in 20 gallon tank in Joseph's room. He has really pretty colors that don't show in this picture.

Addie is a 2 year old Red Footed Tortoise Addie is a baby and will get much, much bigger than this. She lives in an outdoor very, very large tank thingy that was made for her by a tortoise breeder. Joe is outside painting the table for the tank right now. She lives out by our pool. Tortoises can live from 25 to 40 years. She loves to eat spinach and most veggies and fruits. If she doesn't like a particular food, she leaves it. Sort of like Joseph.

THE QUEEN OF ALL THE PETS

MS. BOO

Isn't she cute? Love her. Boo is a 1 1/2 year old Norwich Terrier. She eats everything..... She sleeps wherever she wants.... She totally owns us....

There ya have it - I know not that exciting but we love them all. We all take part in caring for the animals - Joseph is a very responsible pet owner and he absolutely loves animals. Joe had a mini zoo when he was a kid so we are not too surprised that we have all these pets. Our pets are a bit spoiled but we have taught Joseph that if you are going to take in a pet, you must take care of it the best you can.

The weekend is here and I'm one happy gal. This week seemed very long - referral time always does that to me. I'm happy to report that I didn't read one stinkin rumor that they would get further than they did so as I am disappointed that they only covered 6 days, I had no other expectations. Now if I can only do this every month.

We'll be entering the annual boat parade tomorrow which is lots of fun. The temps are staying in the mid 80's through the weekend. Hope everyone has a great weekend and for my Northern friends and family - stay warm :)

Winter in Florida

Having temps in the mid 80's in December is definitely different than what we have been used to living in NY. Even though we have lived here since 2004, we have gone back North for the holidays til last year. The warm weather makes it very difficult to have a real tree so we gave in and bought our first artificial tree. It's still in the box in the garage and will probably go up this weekend - seemed just too early for me this past weekend. Nothing notable to blog about this weekend - Saturday was filled with stuff that had to get done and nothing fun at all. Sunday started to get away from us the same way but we stopped and said let's enjoy this perfect day and we got on our pontoon and hit the Gulf. Joseph's friend Taylor, who moved this past week to Sarasota, was in town with her dad for just a couple of hours and she joined us. Her move has been hard on Joseph - she was one of his first friends when we moved here, she lived down the street and they saw each other all the time. He's growing up and learning about disappointment more and more.

I leave you with a few pics from our Sunday....

Working on the Christmas card picture

Taylor and Joseph shelling

Because he's too darn cute not to kiss and I take this same photo all the time

Sandball.... The water temps are warm enough to swim in

Our Paradise

Visiting friend, living under our boat


Here's Picachoo - the dh thought he died the other night, I spent hours at the vet with him on Friday - he's very healthy and the dh should not be checking on him at 2:45 a.m. - that's when he's sleeping :)